Intimate Violence

Love is a freak; worse still to love and be loved by a freak.  Yes, love is an emotion of immense joy yet great sorrow.

True love is not real, unless you pretend. It sweeps people off their feet with the proverbial broom. Oblivious to them is that true love is a bubblegum myth that has sold millions of big screen movies, novels and songs; and exists only on the mind of the poor deluded soul.

It is still a mystery how we claim to love yet we actually hate with equal measure. Is it love to turn on those whom we love, assault and abuse them?

It is not wise to permanently chain two hostile souls together yet this seems to be the mission of the clergy. They send many happy-clappy dudettes and bachelorettes, who value the wedding day more than the marriage itself, into the arms of till-death-do-us-part (of course after signing the pre-nup) husband – who batters them daily – with the biblical admonition to stay together no matter what because God frowns on divorce.

The much anticipated honeymoon is spoilt by the blues that set in pronto the grand reception at Love Gardens is over. When he coughs she trembles and nods yes to everything he says because she has ‘to be within the bounds of duty.’

A year into the marriage and the battering (to instil discipline) is unbearable. What starts as a simple altercation mushrooms to a real fight blowing out of hand. The rabble rouser hubby picks up fight with her in front of everybody, thanks to spectating relatives and neighbours; controls her every move and yes, has her life in his hands.

Several years and tragic stories abound – from spouses killing each other in the middle of the night to marital-related-suicides. Well, intimate partner violence has made headlines world over.

When she wants out he appears at the divorce court with lawyers full of law-school-jargon in tow, cry crocodile quarts saying it was his fault she was leaving. For the sake of the kids – and hopefully saving the already dead marriage – the judge cuffs them together, a lifetime of violence from true love. She would look as if she were a character from the film The Exorcist like Lissette Ochoa.


Such violence from partners is a leading cause of morbidity and mortality in women. You need to look at the once beautiful belle who shone the world with her beauty – she is a bag of fractures, contused and lacerated body full of obstetric complications and other chronic syndromes.

Funny, isn’t it, after all the violence she still thinks that her abusive husband is her one and only true love; he is a shrewmouse worth sticking with because she has no place else to go. She expresses optimism about a change in futility. Yeah, hubby might be trouble, violent and abusive; but he is loving and caring like she cannot believe. Above all, he is crazy about her (pun intended).

Why on earth go to Beijing, declare how they (women) are abused on a platform of acts and shame with more than 112 people in attendance yet stay in where they are abused? When pollster Infotrak reveals that 39% (and on an upward spiral) of women in any population are physically or sexually assaulted by their husbands or partners during their lifetime it is a concern. Where has love gone?

Love is the mutual gratification of body and mind. Many a time it is the mortification of body, mind and soul thence comes the need to walk out on true love because that is not all what a woman needs.

One of the best indicators of true love’s will to implement their commitments and achieve shared goals is the way in which they treat each other, respect, protect and promote the security of their enduring love in a loving, friendly environment – and live happily without violence.


Copyright ©Elove Poetry, 2012.


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